Nothing but Flowers
Friday, October 31, 2003
I know, I'm a scrooge. Or something.
But can't we leave Halloween to the kids?
I understand going to a Halloween party, but that's pretty much where my understanding ends. I know as a theater person I'm supposed to consider this a really great holiday, and it sure seems like everyone thinks it is. But my idea of a great halloween would be sitting at home waiting for trick-or-treaters to come by. After all, if all the adults are too busy parading and partying, where do the kids get their candy and UNICEF donations?
Yes, yes, I know parties start after the trick or treaters go to bed, but still.
If you want to celebrate Halloween, that's great. Have fun. But I'm really sick of wading through cobwebs and dangling spiders. I've had 4 plastic spiders fall into my hair this week, and anyone over 6'2" has to duck down the hallway or get stuck in a web. The mirror on my boss' door keeps talking. If I walk to the copier I dodge glow-in-the-dark skulls and pumpkins. The microwave is nearly inaccessable. And I can't say anything, because if I do I'm a killjoy. Fair enough. But it's been a week and I've only mentioned my anti-Halloween-for-adults feelings twice (in public anyway). On the upside, there are many many fewer obstructions than last year.
My boss would never stand for it if I decided to decorate the whole suite for the winter holidays (I'd never want to, I hate the over-commercialization and barely get around to hanging white lights at home, but hey). Why should I have to put up with this?
I am very aware that my "leave halloween to the adults" is a complete reaction to her over-the-top obnoxiousness about it. I used to love going to boys town and watching the parade; I know I couldn't do that this year.

Despair, Inc.
Despair, Inc.

Thursday, October 30, 2003
It's just so confusing!
Just when I think I've got my head wrapped around a situation it all changes. Sigh.

I bought the Avenue Q soundtrack from the itunes music store and am now a little bit obsessed. It's kind of awesome and amazing. And funny. I can't wait to see it, though I can't foresee being in NY at any point between now and June.

Speaking of Apple, Panther is amazing. I'm so happy about it. It's a lot faster and has some cool upgrades/redesigns.

I have nothing else to say. I haven't had time to find funny articles, I'm too tired to write anything witty, and I think you've heard enough of my whining for a while!
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Things I've always hated but are beginning to drive me crazy...
1) Students' proclivity to walk into my office and start talking to me before I've acknowledged their presence (i.e. when I'm working on something else).
2) People who invade my personal space by, for example, hovering over my right shoulder while I'm sitting at my desk
3) People who assume I am always "on" and available
4) People who call at inopportune times for me and then end the conversation abruptly saying they'll call back
5) People who talk really really loudly
6) People who ask the same question over and over and never write down the answer. Especially if it's something simple like an email address, a URL or what code to enter on a form.
7) accounting software that constantly corrupts its own data
8) People who ask questions in public that really should be in private (like, "can I read this script during office hours and put it on my time card?" or "what is your therapists name again?" I got both of those today. In my (crowded) office)
9) People who call to have personal conversations and get pissed off when I ask them to hold for a second while I answer a question...and then put me on hold two seconds later for similar reason.
10) Fox News
11) People who call my cell phone with work-related questions when I'm at the office. I don't answer my cell phone at work unless it's down time
12) People who blast really loud music from the office across the hall. Particularly when its the same loud music over and over and over again
13) People who agree to a meeting time and then arrive and announce they only have 10 minutes before they have to leave.
14) People who ask how I can get any work done (based on the volume of students in my office) when they themselves have called me for non-work reasons.

Much of this goes back to the fact that basically I'm a pushover. I am completely incapable of saying "this is a really bad time for me. Can you try interrupting me later?" or "I'm trying to do my job. Can you come back after 6pm?" or "that's really inappropriate behavior for anyone older than 11" or, more realistically, "I'd love to talk, but now isn't a good moment"

actually, I've told a couple of the major offenders. but they also happen to be among my closest friends. which makes it much harder. It's really hard to tell someone you have to do work when you'd really much rather talk to them. But there's that whole responsibility thing... And I really would much rather talk to them. In my ideal world I'd work 20 hours/week and thus have time to talk to everyone on the phone, make plans to see them more than once every couple months, sleep late, and have time to goof off.

This week between midterms, proposals, and my boyfriend's birthday I am not exactly full of free time. Particularly because my classes are harder then ever before and there are some problem children driving me up the wall.

It's not, as people keep assuming, that I'm unhappy or stressed out. I've been blaming stress but it isn't that so much as lack of time. Which can translate into stress, and often does, but actually I'm not stressed I'm just exasperated.

And of course a large part of the problem is that "now" is almost never a good time. I've made some life choices that limit my time for social interaction. My friends have been incredibly understanding about this, and never question when I have to do homework or study and can't hang out. But there is a (reasonable) limit to their understanding. I know that. I'm also not exactly low-maintenance myself. I also have a tendency to call at inopportune moments. But I think (hope) that I'm less demanding with my neediness.

I went out to dinner with a friend tonight who I had cancelled on twice in the last two weeks (with more than 48 hours notice, but still). He was feeling abandoned, and asked me if I just didn't like spending time with me anymore. Since that's not the case, I went out with him instead of studying for my midterm Thursday- easy choice, but one that has effectively eliminated the possibility that I will get an A on this test. I feel really bad about having put him off, but wish I could have put him off one more week. He got me back though. He'd invited me to dinner at his house to meet the dog; we had planned on cooking, I was going to bring wine, it would be just the two of us catching up and hanging out. Yesterday I found out I would have to be in meetings until 7:15, so we pushed back when we'd meet up. and today I arrived at his place to find we would instead be meeting his boyfriend and brother-in-law at a pub down the street. Not that that wasn't fun (it was) but it was clearly, and passive-aggressively, payback. Fun, but still payback.

And, clearly, I'm a bitchy misanthrope. An exasperated, tired, bitchy, misanthrope. Who is going to do poorly on her strategy midterm. (This is not, I repeat not, a fish for "no you won't, I'm sure you'll do fine" etc. etc. It's a statement of fact) I haven't had enough time to fully prepare the case--it's an in-class write up of a case that was handed out last week, questions unknown. She said to prepare some numerical analysis, which will take me all of tomorrow night to generate, if I'm lucky. Leaving little time for me to prepare a deep industry analysis or dig into strategic options. All I've done tonight is read the case twice and take notes. and I have to go to bed soon.

Time crunch. Exasperation.
Monday, October 27, 2003
Weddings are great
Yet one more reason why weddings are awesome: in the last couple weeks since I got back I've received more email from high school friends than in the previous 5 years combined. I'm exaggerating much less than usual.
today I got a letter (snail mail!) and box of veggie chips from one as a thank you for putting her up (she also, obviously, sent my mom a thank you note).
So really, I'd have much more of a social life if my friends kept getting married.
Weddings are great
Yet one more reason why weddings are awesome: in the last couple weeks since I got back I've received more email from high school friends than in the previous 5 years combined. I'm exaggerating much less than usual.
today I got a letter (snail mail!) and box of veggie chips from one as a thank you for putting her up (she also, obviously, sent my mom a thank you note).
So really, I'd have much more of a social life if my friends kept getting married :)
I almost have a social life!
Well, sort of. At any rate I had a very busy weekend.

Friday Kesa called to say she was coming to Chicago and we should hang out. We agreed she'd call Friday night when she got in. I waited until about midnight, but when she hadn't called I went to bed (proof of no social life. ah well.)

Saturday I had to be at work at 9--eww. "Project Day" (which I still call clean-up day out of spite) went well and culminated in a whiffle ball game at the shop. The other team won, but not because of me. Mostly because we kept having to re-gaff tape the ball and eventually no one was hitting anything. But I suppose my two hard ground outs and one strike out didn't help.
Then I went home to do homework before going out to a party. Meanwhile Kesa called to ask if I wanted to pre-drink/watch her get a tattoo. I said "sure, as long as its around 10". She said "what about 9?" I said "maybe. call me". (this becomes important later).
While the boy watched the Yankees lose to the Marlins (yay!) I did work. Kesa called at 9. I said I couldn't leave my neighborhood until the game was over since I was taking the boy to the party. This made her extremely mad (I could hear her friends obnoxious comments about me in the background too, which didn't help). Mad enough that she missed the "and I'm not done with my work yet. but if you want to go somewhere in my neighborhood later, that'd work". Mad enough that she had someone else call me--on her cell--several times to get the address of the party and directions to it. Including one conversation that went something like this:
Me: It's near the intersection of Damen and Division.
Him: where's that?
Me: Wicker Park--do you live in Chicago?
Him: Yes
Me: ok, well it's easy. Where are you now?
Him: on Belmont, near Clark
Me: ok, well that's my neighborhood. You need to go south and west. go south to damen and then west over toward division. (directions, more directions, recommendations on routes, etc.)
Him: so I should take Belmont south?
Me: Belmont runs east-west...

Amazingly enough they made it to the party alive. Kesa had a brand new (and pretty cool) tattoo of the Fibonacci spiral on her shoulder and was less mad once she saw me. I remained irritated, but whatever.

Anyway, the party was this amazing group of U of Cers from the classes of '98-'04 and hipsters. It reconfirmed my idea that powder-blue suits are really not meant to be worn. And that showers are good things. It also made me feel both very young and very old. Young because there were a couple people I'd been terrified of as a young student, old because I felt way to old to be at what felt like a college party. But it was a lot of fun, a good mix of people, and overall a good party. I didn't have a single drink, which may be why I was more contemplative then others. We left around 1:30, which due to the miracle of daylight savings was actually 12:30. Went home and watched some American Gladiators (on MTv2 I believe) before crashing.

Sunday I drove the boy around and then met Kesa for breakfast. Spent the late morning/early afternoon finishing my homework. Spent the afternoon with another friend. Came home to send the homework to everyone in my group before our conference call.
Obviously this was the perfect time for comcast to decide to go down.
I spent from 7 to nearly midnight dealing with trying to get the assignment sent out (except for when I was in the conference call). I pretty quickly had given in and used ye-olde-dial up with the 56K connection, but couldn't get the attachments to go through. It was at this point that I began screaming at all comcast employees. In my head, since of course the only information about how to contact my ISP
This morning I wrote them a nasty complaint. But I think it's valid. I don't spend $50/month to have my service crap out at random times for several hours. So there.
This also means that I didn't know about the wildfires in California until this morning. It's really bizarre sometimes how I get all my email from the internet or NPR, and I only listen to NPR on my commute.

Now I'm at work delaying more phone calls and conversations about the T-W fiasco. More complications this weekend--apparently the same disgruntled student who sent anonymous emails also told my boss's boss that I was deliberately avoiding paying the royalties.


This morning I decided it was scarf weather but not hat&gloves weather. I was wrong.
Online NewsHour: Playing By the Numbers
Online NewsHour: Playing By the Numbers -- October 9, 2003

can you tell why I really really want to take Prof. Thaler's class in the spring?
Friday, October 24, 2003
UT upset over real estate gift
UT upset over real estate gift


University Gives up UT space
I suck at b-school
Last night my strategy prof asked "Heidi, can you make a point that isn't completely devoid of economic theory?"

Wednesday, October 22, 2003
University donates building to Hyde Park Art Center
University donates building to Hyde Park Art Center

I was going to blog about how it annoyed me that the article only gives a token mention to the current occupants of this building, but Garth asked me about it yesterday and I gave him my--off the record--opinion. The maroon is now doing a follow-up article and I got an email asking me for "UT's side". Which included the question "why don't members of the student committee know about this?" I passed it on to my boss because I didn't know about this until very recently when the arts center people were touting their new home in an used building...a building with an address that I was very familiar with. The whole situation is a little dicey. We didn't have any say in this and the University promised to find us a temporary home should the arts center move in before our performing arts building is built. I can't really comment on how pissed we are about it because that might get us in trouble with the university administration. Ugh. politics.
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Hangover Central
I always wonder how Bill-the-bartender-at-showtunes seems to know the exact moment to give me a drink on the house? The precise moment when I first calculate how many more songs I'm staying for?

And I always feel it in the morning. Stupid fruity drinks that completely disguise the massive amounts of ketel 1 that must be in there for me to feel it like this. Ugh.
Free meningitis vaccine
City offers meningitis vaccine free to gay and bisexual men who have had "close social contacts" on the North side.

Monday, October 20, 2003
Support your local NPR station
how? what? huh? - Unexpectant mom shocked by birth - Oct. 20, 2003

I'm constantly shocked by people.

Other things I'm often shocked by. Rankings. I periodically get alerts from the GSB updating our ranking in various publications that do that type of thing. Often they read like the one I got today: "Today, the Financial Times released its annual ranking of executive M.B.A. programs. The GSB ranked 2nd; in last year's ranking, the GSB was ranked 7th". Sometimes the shift is the other way. I think the various rankings choose 9 top schools and then pull the top order out of a hat. It is so inconsistent from year to year--not who is there, but what order they are in.

TIMEOUT. just went searching for a Business Week article to make my point. Had to register for a free, email, age range...
pulldown list of job title options: Chairman, board member, managing director, c-level, president, senior VP, controller, sales rep, .... etc. down to clerical/support staff.
company size-1-5, 5-9, etc.
industry: aerospace, advertising, agriculture, banking, business services, computers and communications, consulting, construction, education, entertainment, government, healthcare, insurance, investment/financial services, internet, legal, mining, manufacturing, personal services, publishing, real estate, retail, software, telecom, travel, utilities, wholesale.

um. I've been unvalidated. I suppose I *could* choose either education or entertainment, but I'm not really in either. Actually, I suppose I'm very much in both, but with some caveats. However, if I were working at any non-academic theater in Chicago I'm not sure I'd want to choose "entertainment" as the category. Not because theater isn't entertaining, but because the "entertainment industry" usually means TV, film, and the WWE. I suppose big budget commercial theater and spectacle too, but not your typical Chicago store-front shoe-string theater.

That caveat aside (and please, those of you who work at clearchannel or in LA, I am really not saying that there is anything bad about being in the entertainment industry), what if I worked for a museum? Or an NGO? Or for the UN (which shouldn't count as government, not really)? Or for anything that could reasonably and easily be qualified as "non-profit"?

I'm so annoyed at the lack of no non-profit option that I'm going to drop what could have been an insightful thread. Yes, it is the little things.

SO, my next rant is about NPR. I just renewed my WBEZ membership. As should all regular listeners. They only get 8% of their funding from the government, the rest comes from listeners like you. And as an avid listener, I feel obligated to be a member. Nevertheless, the pledge drives tend to confuse me as to when I should pledge. For example, if I had pledged today (and today only!) I would have been entered in a drawing to win a $1,000 shopping spree. If I had pledged during morning edition last Thursday my gift would have been matched by someone really rich. If I pledged Saturday when Jim Nayder was on the air urging me too I would have won the annoying music show box set. Etc. Etc. If I put it on a credit card I get Newsweek in addition to whatever gift. Etc. etc. etc.
There's also a "buy back the drive" incentive to pledge early. So I pledged during the first day--which makes me feel less guilty when I switch stations during the pledge drive interruptions.

You know?

Chicago's insta-fall is almost over. I left for New England last week and the trees were green. I returned and they were colorful. And now most of the leaves are on the ground (despite todays' 80 degree weather. this being Chicago, it's supposed to be 55 tomorrow). It's very confusing.

-insert relevant segue here-

There are 2 parking lots near the Gleacher Center. Actually, there are more than that, but only 2 that I know how to access. Validation is available for either. At one lot it is $10 with GSB validation after 4pm, at the other it is $11. Being a contrarian, I usually park in the $11 lot even though it is about a half-block farther away and more expensive. Why? Because when 500 people get out of class at 9pm and half of them go to their cars they are all in the cheap lot. It is well worth the extra dollar to avoid waiting 30 minutes to exit the lot. Except maybe it isn't. In the last year I've driven to an average of 1.5 classes/week, 10 weeks/quarter, for 4 quarters. So I've spent an extra $60 or so.
Usually I would have no problem justifying that. $60 is very little compared to the $12,000 I've spent on my half-price tuition (which doesn't include books at about $200/class). But today I got out at 8pm after my midterm. So I definitely wasted that dollar.

Again, it's the little things.

In the best baseball news in a while, USA Today is running a simulated World Series between the Red Sox and the Cubbies. It includes highlights from the "games". And I've so far devoted much more time to it than to the actual one. You know, if I didn't get fox (which I didn't pre-cable because the signal is so crappy) I could very easily convince myself that it was the real one and forget all the heartbreak of last week. Hmmmm.

Showtunes tonight. I'm very excited.
7th?? and other things
Having been forced out of bed way too early by my cat, who is cute but awfully persistent, I feel the need to share everything I've read with you in a link-happy post. Aren't you excited?

The NY Times review of the new fox show Skin is surprisingly, nay shockingly, positive. I'm still weirded out by the idea of seeing someone I sort of know on TV, and also kind of fasci-volted by exactly how trashy and awful it looks. Luckily I will be in class tonight taking a midterm so I won't be able to watch.

Somehow, and this absolutely blows my mind, the U of C is number 7 on Mother Jones' list of top 10 activist campuses. I mean, there was that taco bell thing, and the guys who slept in a tent during the war, and occasionally Pete'O goes a little nuts about Gen. Clarke and starts speaking Minnesotan, but... I mean, when I was an undergrad I could only get 3 people to care about Burma. It was one of my biggest hesitations (in my naive youth) about the school--I would not be able to express my political outrage as vocally.
(caveat here. Of course I could have, some people did. But I'm pretty much a follower when it comes to activism, and it wasn't easy to become part of a cause or a group. The Feminist Majority, for example, kept switching their meeting times&locations and seemed to have elections every 2 weeks. I did, however, briefly right for the pseudo-socialist paper, and admitting that may make me unelectable to public office. damn.)

I mean, 7th most activist campus?? WHERE??? I would expect the 7th most activist campus to storm the admin building occasionally, and we haven't done that since the 60's.

A reputation the U of C does have is as the suicide capital campus. Which is untrue. There is usually about one suicide every year and it sends the entire campus into mourning/denial. There have been three at NYU this semester, which is just so incredibly sad.

To those of you who are confused about what I'm doing with my life, I want to grow up to be Andrew Taylor. I actually don't know enough about him to really claim that, but I love his blog. Mostly because it often validates my existence.

And to those of you who marveled at the milk-in-glass-bottles that the milkman delivers to my mom's house in suburban boston (and no, I'm not kidding about that), you can get it from Oberweis Dairy here in Chicago. So it's not a total anachronism.

Now I've totally overrun my extra time this morning and need to get to work.
Sunday, October 19, 2003
Stupid Computer
Sometimes technology just seems out to get us.

Today I logged onto my lap top, as always, opened my mail, no problems. Then I tried to open safari, but it quit immediately ("the application "safari" has unexpectedly quit. The system and other applications have not been affected"). I tried i.e. just to see. It quit too. So I tried netscape (which means OS 9 had to pseudo-open). It quit. I tried aol. same deal.
I restarted the computer.
No luck.
I logged in as another user...and presto bingo no problems. No access to my files or bookmarks, but no problems.
I "verified disk permissions". Lots of problems, all fixed, restart the computer.
No deal.
So, not wanting to spend hours on the phone, I just created another user, with all my priviliges and access, etc.
Of course, this means I had to reconfigure mail and drag all my documents into the shared folder and then into my new user folder. Same with my bookmarks and preferences.
Apparently, however, I can't copy or drag the file with my auto fill and passwords stored. Which is kind of annoying since I never remember passwords and totally rely on my computer to do it. On the other hand, given the basic premise behind having multiple users, this makes sense.
but still. it's 12:30 and I've been dealing with this in one way or another since 9am. And there's NOTHING wrong with my computer. It just doesn't want to let the owner-user access the internet.

Fine. Be that way. You win. I quit.

Saturday, October 18, 2003
Cruel Irony
Okay, this is my last post about baseball for a while. I promise.

Several people have told me in the last week that my boyfriend looks like Aaron Boone, who is the reason (ultimately, after all the screw ups earlier in the game) that my Red Sox lost game 7.

Now, I don't find Aaron Boone attractive. and I don't think it's just the pinstripe uniform. But I do find my boyfriend attractive. So WTF?
Friday, October 17, 2003
Bob Ryan sums it up: "The Red Sox always lose in great games. The 1975 World Series was an epic. The Bucky Dent Game was an epic. The 1986 World Series was a keeper. That's the point. The Red Sox always play in these things, but they never wind up pouring the champagne.

Seriously. Would it spoil some vast eternal plan if the Red Sox could win one?"

that's from / Misery has more company.
Why such pain?
I woke up this morning thinking maybe it was all a dream. Maybe we didn't blow the 4 run lead. Maybe Grady Little took Pedro out of the game before he gave up that rally-inspiring double. Maybe we hammered Mariano Rivera. Maybe, just maybe, I had dreamed that first pitch in the bottom of the 12th homerun by Aaron Boone. Maybe.


I started to cry in the shower. I'm way too emotionally invested in this team. Always have been. It takes effort to be a Red Sox fan. It takes love, devotion, dedication, care, and a healthy hatred of the Yankees.

They came so close so many times. This really *could* have been the year.

but in the end, they didn't cowboy up into the world series.

When I got to work this AM I had to change the wallpaper on my was their team photo. I'll get a new red sox t-shirt in the mail soon. Probably while the yankees are doing what they always do.

It was a great series. and a great game. and it ended as it always always has. At least for the last 85 years.

That's it. I quit. No more baseball at least until April. And they may have finally broken my heart beyond repair. (don't quote me on that come April). The site of Wakefield collapsing to the ground after he threw that pitch did it. so so so sad.

My brother and I both agreed that this was harder than it has been since '86. And since I was only 7 and he was only 11 in '86, our level of investment and heartache was slightly different. This, he said, is possibly the worst thing that could happen. And it is. I will, of course, agree with my friend Dan that obviously it isn't the "worst". Genocide is much much worse. Having your house burn down is worse. Clearly lots of things are worse. But no man has ever hurt me this badly. Not even close.

My brother asked Congressman Barney Frank once if he were a Sox fan. he responded with something to the effect of "I don't like to be involved with more than one rich man at a time".
words of wisdom.

I'm working up the emotional energy to read the paper. I need to stick with the friendly Boston Globe so as to avoid any yankee celebration. but somehow it won't be real until I've read the articles.

My boyfriend commented that he hadn't realized until now how many people root against the yankees. It's true. and it's because they are team usually made up of 25 assholes with no respect for other people. and they buy all the talent they can and they usually win. and they're arrogant and obnoxious. Need I go on? Yes, there are Yankees fans all over the place, but it's damn easy to be a fan of a team that always wins.

I'm a fan of the team that always comes in 2nd.

You gotta have heart. All you really need is heart.

But this year they had it! and talent, and drive, and they were having fun on the field (most of the time).

Now this is just depressing.
Thursday, October 16, 2003
Pedro Not Nervous about Game 7

That's nice, but I'm nervous.

Nervous as all hell

And i'll be in class.

I'd skip, but I missed last week to go to the game in NY.

but this is the scenario Red Sox fans dream of: Game 7, against the Yankees, Pedro on the mound. It's the most perfect thing I can imagine.

Instead I'll be discussing Home Depot's strategic decisions.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003
2 page papers suck
I hate writing 2 page papers.

Especially when it's the bottom of the 9th in game 7 of the NLCS.

But really, it's too short to develop a thesis and too long to just hit one point.

My boyfriend and I were spatting (mostly because of baseball. I knew dating a yankees fan would be hard). So he just called and did a dramatic reading of "come what may".

That's just unbearably adorable, frankly.
My reading habits
Ever since Jon teased me about my airport reading habits, I've been a little touchy about it.

Let me explain. He is obsessed with the new Rufus Wainwright CD. I commented that the cover art looked like a trashy fantasy novel.

He expanded that it looked like one of those trashy fantasy novels that I buy in airports.

Harumph. Usually I buy mystery novels, but yes, sometimes I buy vampire novels or Arthurian romances. I'm usually pretty good about judging how long I will be at the airport or on the plane and finish them in time to leave them behind for the next bored traveler. Consequently there are very few of these books in my house. At least relative to the number I've actually read.

This weekend, conscious of Jon's scorn, I purchased the new Sue Grafton mystery, Q Is for Quarry, assuming I'd finish it.

Unfortunately I got sucked into a conversation with my seatmate (who was photoshopping the cigarette out of his hand in a picture of him with his harley as we spoke) and arrived in Chicago with 100 pages left.

What with work, class, baseball and mail, I haven't had time to finish. which is sad.

I should add that Jon's teasing about my reading habits is entirely justified. and I don't really mind it.
Alas poor baseball!
Well, yesterday's Red Sox game and Cubs game should remind us all that sometimes routing for the perennial underdogs is damn hard.

I can't even remember many of the details (oh, right, Manny Ramirez struck out with the bases loaded and Nomar hasn't hit the ball in, literally, months) of the Red Sox game since the Cubs meltdown was so dramatic.

On a selfish note, I had carefully arranged not to be home last night during what I assumed would be riotous celebration. Tonight I imagine I will be looking for parking for an hour after spending two in traffic, and then listening in on a party (I hope) or a wake (which would be sad).

Meanwhile my Red Sox have to win this afternoon and tomorrow. I'm a little (make that a LOT) nervous.

On a totally random non-baseball note, I watched The Lion King last night after the game. Having seen the commercials which advertise "an additional song" I was expecting the one from the broadway version featuring simba shout/singing the lyrics "you promised you'd be-e-e there/forever and ev-e-e-er". (this is the point where I get an irritated email from my disney-fanatic friend). No no, the new song is Morning Report, which is barely a song. I mean, really. It's zazu singing what he speaks in the original. I don't think (though I could be wrong) that they even had to re-animate most of the scene. I felt a little let down, I must admit. But I suppose any other new song would have required getting Matthew Broderick to sing a dramatic solo...hmmm....
In an odd cycle, I find myself comparing the movie to the stage show.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003 / Sports / NESN / Eric Wilbur / Sports / NESN / Eric Wilbur
This about sums it up.
Monday, October 13, 2003
Too weird...
ESPN News Poll results were displayed on the news were voting 76-24% that the sox would go to the world series instead of the yanks...this with, yup, 1,918 votes counted. Yeah.

You can't make that stuff up.

now I'm freaked out. Maybe all that stuff about the curse and...

ok. just a freaky coincidence. has to be.
Wedding & Sox, Part 1
First, my thoughts on the whole Red Sox/Yankees brawling
1) Pedro started it. I concede that.
2) Zim was way out of line, Pedro's response was reasonable
3) tempers were high, which kind of excuses Manny's response
4) no idea what to think of the bullpen brawl. Obviously I'm biased toward my Sox.

But the whole thing was bizarre.

Okay, now the rest of the weekend...

Thursday night in NYC: amazing to be at the game. I wasn't harassed (in my sox paraphenalia) nearly as much as my boyfriend was for being with me (he was decked out in Yankees gear). I wish we'd won, and it was a long train ride back dealing with the loss, but it was great to be there.

Friday night party: SO MUCH FUN. The day leading up to it was a little surreal--helping my mom move furniture, reuniting with 1 high school friend. The party itself went well, but wrapped a little early. My friends who had gotten stuck in traffic (I mostly refrained from "I told you so!s") arrived as everyone else was leaving. Consequently the after-party went until 6am

Most surreal moment? Joining one friend for a cigarette in my back yard while my stepdad was smoking a cigar with my mom looking on. She was amazed to see me smoke, but I was with friends and she saw it as reasonable (hard to say otherwise when my stepdad was there with cigar).

Some amazing conversation with people I haven't seen in years.

Saturday I woke up with the worst hangover of my life, but struggled through pleasantries with my mom. By the time we started playing croquet I was feeling human again...but I don't want to be that hungover ever again.

The whole weekend was punctuated by a series of revelations. That is, one or another of my high school friends would slide something into a conversation that someone else didn't know about. Prime examples: from a female friend: "when I was stripping I would run into guys like that all the time". Collective gasp from most of us, which we all tried to surpress. The next day a different person was analyzing someone else's unexpectedly lovey-dovey relationship: "well, they did get together when he had just learned about the cancer, so probably that is part of it". Another collective gasp, though of a very different kind.

I think that about sums up the surreal aspects.

I'll describe the wedding in more depth later. bottom line, it was great. Lots of fun, a beautiful wedding, and hell it involved showtunes. I demonstrated my usual lack of grace and style, but I think I was forgiven.

Now I'm going to unpack. the marathon NYC-BOS-Concord-BOS-Chicago-work-class is at last over. and the red sox won tonight.

To tide you over until I write several long posts on how great the wedding was (and I'm not saying that just because the groom reads this--though if you're reading it now, go back to the beach!!) here are somepictures
Skype rhymes with hype
my brother thinks this is the wave of the future
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
I should add...
...that I haven't done any of the homework I HAVE to do before I leave for NYC/BOS/etc tomorrow at noon.
Nor have I cleaned or caught up on bills.
What I have done, however, is watched THE RED SOX START THE SERIES OFF RIGHT (ok, at least through 5 inning) and THE CUBS GO UP 8-0.

I can feel it getting closer to the apocalypse.

Though my boyfriend-the-yankees-fan and I have a temporary truce going (no gloating is the rule), and I suspect it will be hard for both of us to sustain this.
crisis point
It's official:I have no idea what I'm wearing this weekend. I just "packed", which should be read as stuffing everything remotely attractive that fits into a suitcase. This strategy postpones the inevitable just a little bit more. Nice.
I actually made some effort this weekend, pulling things out of my closet (actually cleaning my closet for the first time in WAY too long) and putting things back. I made a half-assed attempt at shopping.

but still. No clue.

So for one weekend which has 2 functions that require thoughtful dressing, I have packed:
-black pants
-3 pairs of shoes
-2 different blouses
-2 different black dresses
-My favorite black-with-pink slip dress that I want to wear...but shows little too much cleavage to be appropriate for a wedding. But I'm thinking my mom might have an appropriate black wrap.
-a nice, somewhat hip, skirt and appropriate blouse (but this blouse makes me look extra wide, I think. My mom thinks it's great. which basically proves my point)
-the dress that was made for me for my mom's wedding. This has a couple things going for it. Actually a lot. But my mom got married in May, and this is October. Color wise it works (navy blue) and it's just empire waisted with cap sleeves so cut is no problem...but if it is october weather, the fabric is all wrong. Given the forecast, however, I think it'll work for the actual wedding
-most of the attractive jewelry I own

Anyway. this goes to show 1) I can't pack 2) I have no clothes 3) I need retail therapy 4) have I mentioned that I'll be at yankee stadium tomorrow? I haven't packed for that! aHHHH

Cub/Red Sox
My favorit quote about a Sox/Cubs series: "And there's another point to consider: What, exactly, would Cubs and Red Sox fans do all day if they couldn't lament their team's demise? Declaring yourself a lifelong fan of either team is a badge of honor, and, often a badge of courage. Having allegiances to both franchises generally means you have learned to endure the cruel twists and turns of the game."
that's from / Sports / Baseball / It'd be a storybook tale of two cities, which also has some quotes I support. Like "Red Sox and Cubs? In the World Series? You'd have to blow up both ballparks when it was over," said veteran Chicago outfielder Doug Glanville. "Boom. No matter who wins, get rid of both of them, and start from scratch."

as I said...
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
couple things
1) the Cubs just lost a very bizarre game.
2) Governor Arnold?
3) I was looking atthe sitemeter referrals to my blog and was amused by the various google searches that bring it up...
here are some examples:
-pictures theo epstein
-hey hey holy macro cubs
-chicago protest garbage strike
-proof and university of chicago and filming
-puzzles skyline chicago night
-mommie dearest mamma mia
-I am the only hit for the search "queer eye for the queer guy" harvard
-I am NOT the only hit for "Theo epstein" soccer brother
....which I find a little freaky as a search criteria, because, um, well...yeah.

I would like to say, for the record, that I am GOING TO THE ALCS GAME ON THURSDAY.
oh yeah. Thursday to NYC, first (maybe second) shuttle to boston in the AM for the wedding.

oh, and I PROMISE that by the end of October I will be less baseball-obsessed. But until then, can you blame me?

I heard on the news tonight that the city's new strategy for hiding the trash around Wrigley (what with all the media attention from around the country) is to pick up anything that is keeping a dumpster from closing...that way they aren't actually asking anyone to cross picket lines. It's one of those Daly strategies that is so simultaneously brilliant and skeezy.

Also, to the people screaming and honking outside my window: when they lose you should go home quietly and hope they'll win tomorrow. DON'T KEEP ME AWAKE OUT OF YOUR FRUSTRATION. Or go to the bar and drown your sorrows. But don't do it outside my window.

Yes, I chose to live on Waveland avenue (you know, the one where all those homeruns from tonight's wild game landed). Yes, I voluntarily moved into this neighborhood and knew what that meant.

So you have a right to mock me for all my whining about parking/traffic/garbage/noise in regular circumstances. However, I still reserve some whining rights when it gets excessive. Like right now.
The play 18 night games during the entire season and then have 6 scheduled during the playoffs with no warning. The neighborhood is not actually designed for night baseball.

But Jimmy Buffet was at the game tonight. Hee.
I'm so over Proof
in class yesterday my professor said that his earlier, on campus, section was interrupted approximately every 10 minutes because all his students would see Gwynneth Paltrow and/or Anthony Hopkins out the window and turn to stare.
Monday, October 06, 2003
Olivia Wilde is Jewel Goldman on Skin

I have to credit scott for clueing me into this. I'd seen the previews, but kind of ignored it and assumed my recognition of the lead actress was from some other series, not because she's a family friend and the little sister of a high-school classmate.

but yes, that would be Olivia Cockburn, now Wilde, whose wedding I was at in June, starring in Fox' new series.

oh my lord.
Sunday, October 05, 2003
It's so sad that the Heidishop at is well designed. It may be the off-kilter english. Or fuzzy graphics. I'm not sure. Maybe it's the reality of what they sell... though I kinda adore (in a guilty pleasure kind of way) the "woman t-shirt" that I bought a couple weeks ago. And it's really by far the best email address I have (my initials--hant--at heidimail), though also the least used.

I just felt like sharing.

Saturday, October 04, 2003
Osco inefficiencies
After getting my hair cut by a man who called me Sweetie and honey (I like my hair cut and this particular stylist has also done hair design for some shows I've liked), I decided to run some errands. This stylist, who is actually named John, confessed that he really hopes the Cubs lose today since it took him 40 minutes to get home to Andersonville last night. He admits to living in the building that houses the neo-futurarium but never having seen a show there because he's scared off by the long lines. I am appalled and tell him that either my ensemble-member office-mate or I (he cuts both of our hair) will pull tokens for him to cut the line. He proceeds to name drop Chicago actors who get their hair cut by him, but when I also know all of them (why do you think I went to him, for chrissakes??) he lays off it. We discuss metrosexuals and he claims that Sidetracks is a shitty bar. Even though I really like my haircut, I'm not sure I can get over that bit of heresy.

back to errands.

first stop: Osco. Which is, one might note, directly across the street from Jewel. They are, of course, the same company and seem to be converging into the same store. To whit, Osco now has 2 aisles of liquour and 2 of food, while Jewel has added yet another aisle for drugstore "products". What, I then ask, is the point of keeping the stores seperate? and where are the products that are being displaced for the new, overlapping, items? It's amazing, but I can't tell what the hell is missing from either shop now that they have 4 aisles of their complement's specialty each.

Having never succeeded in leaving a drugstore with only what I "need", I stop to pick up a shopping cart. Except their aren't any. So I look for a basket. None of those either. hmmm. This could be my least expensive trip to osco ever.

I quickly determine that their are two cashiers on duty. One looks to be about 16, and the other is my least favorite. She's about a thousand years old, and always asks me if I've just moved to the neighborhood, and then tells me I look like her granddaughter. If I happen to be buying cat paraphinalia I hear all about her 2 cats. This would be ok if she weren't also the slowest cashier known to Jewel-Osco. Cat food is on my list for this stop. Since clearly I have to avoid her, I decide I will have to use the 16 year old, which means buying alcohol is out of the question, despite the baseball games in my future.

I quickly find what I came in to buy--body wash, cat food, and diet coke. I have to put back several impulse buys because of my lack of cart or basket. I find only a few things to buy that I don't "need", and they're all reasonable things that I should own.

I get in line behind the 16 year old. but the two people in front of me haven't judged age very well and are buying beer. So the cashier pages a manager (21 on 2! 21 on 2!) for a while. The manager rings up customer number 1 and walks away when anyone can see she should stick around for customer #2. I debate switching lines, right as I hear grandma-cashier inform the CPD officer in line that her cats have some sort of intenstinal infection. I remain where I am. The 16 year old pages again (21 on 2! 21 on 2!). in lane 3, grandma calls for a price check on "super duper porch cleaner" for the CPD officer. I wonder if my tax dollars are at work for this, or if the cop is off duty. Optimistically I assume the latter. 21 on 2! I need a 21 on 2!!

I ponder whether or not I can buy a Twix and still love myself in the morning and twiddle my well styled hair.

Price check on 3! 21 on 2!

This continues for, and I swear to god I am not exaggerating, 7 minutes. Finally the manager comes back, saying "I just did a 21 for you!" to my poor, mercifully unsocial, cashier. The price check reveals that "super duper porch cleaner" is $1.24 a bottle, not the $6.79 grandma cashier had charged.

Then, the guy in front of me with the miller high-life (ugh) realizes he doesn't have enough cash, so switches to credit. His first card is rejected, so he goes with the Discover Card. He's buying one case of Miller high-life. That's some intense credit-card maxing out.

Meanwhile in aisle 3, the CPD officer has just gotten change and is leaving the store. The next person in that line (who, if I had judged differently, was standing where I would have been) puts his stuff down. But grandma has something else in mind, namely choosing this moment to put the baskets piled up behind her back by the door. It is finally my turn at aisle 2.

But my earnest young cashier takes this moment to page again "we need more cashiers". I look behind me and see a line stretching into the card aisle. All behind me (avoiding grandma, probably out of experience) and all carrying cases of beer. Ah playoff season in Wrigleyville.

I'm finally checked through, $21.76 deducted from my bank account and two twix bars longing to be eaten at the bottom of my bag. I have been in Osco for 30 minutes. Since it took me less than 10 to find what I needed (after all, I go to this particular establishment frequently), this is ridiculous.

I decide against running more errands, and return home.

It should be noted that my worst fears about a Friday night playoff game combined with a garbage hauler strike were not realized. I don't know how, but the neighborhood is pretty clean. Crowded with people waiting for the game (then 3 hours in the future), but otherwise clean. I may disagree with a lot of things Mayor Daly the younger does (like carving up airport runways at 2am), but he's come through here. The alleys are crowded with residential trash, but there's no trash on the streets.

50 years?
This woman has worked at the U of C for 50 years, serving food in the dining halls and cleaning dorms.

That's 2x my lifetime. I'm impressed.
Friday, October 03, 2003
Wait, Pedro's better than Burkett?
Best quote from John Burkett: "I want our team to win. Grady's going to do what's best for our team. And I hate to say it, but I think Pedro's a little bit better pitcher than me."
that's from this story:

Red Sox save Martinez for potential Game 5

Ah the evil empire

BBC NEWS | Business | Microsoft faces fresh lawsuit

In case you couldn't tell, blogger has this feature that you can drag on to your bookmark bar. I just click it and post a link automatically. Can you tell I'm enjoying that feature?

Wait, they don't already?
BBC NEWS | Technology | Mobile games to 'tempt women'

Baseball fans
There are several different types of baseball fans. Attitude seems clearly linked to favorite team. So, although I recognize that my blog has become a little baseball-centric of late (forgive me! It's the playoffs!) I offer the following categories, and if you come with others email me--hant at heidimail dot com (or any other email address of mine you like using).

1) The Masochist. This type of fan sticks with his/her team through thick and thin. Will watch to the bitter end even if there is no way the team could possibly win the game/series/etc. Examples: anybody who is still a Tigers fan, anyone who went to game 7 of the 1986 world series to root for the Red Sox. Does not include a single New York Yankees or Atlanta Braves fan.

2) The turncoat. Typified by a friend who I will not identify. This person is a Yankees fan. During a recent game when the Yanks were tied 1-1 he was screaming about how they suck, were going to screw up, don't do anything right. Sample quote: "go ahead! strike out! I know you're going to anyway!" When the player struck out, the TV was turned off and the game ignored...until he learned the Yankees had taken the lead. Game went back on, he started jumping and dancing, loving those same players who earlier could do no right.

3) The "only-when-they win". Simlar to #2 above, but with more lasting switches in allegience. This type of fan seems always to root for the world series winners. Alternate definition: fans that come out of the woodwork when their home city's team is doing well.

4) The "why-do-dose-bums-always-do this-to-me". Includes fans of the Boston Red Sox. This breed of fan has an intense love for their team, no matter what the circumstances, and feels personally and deeply hurt and saddened when the team loses, as it often does. When the team wins, however, this is the fan you want to have around as they have been through the most. Shares the need to watch even the worst with type #1 above.

SO that's my imperfect theory thus far. I'll add more as they are suggested.
Thursday, October 02, 2003
Friday night baseball
I'm ignoring that right now we are losing 5-1 in game 2, ok? And that Zito has 5 K's in a row. None of that is happening.

I'm instead going to add to yesterday's whine about the Cubs game tomorrow. It's the FIRST EVER night game at Wrigley on a Friday night. Why is that? you might ask. The answer is that there is an ordinance that a) limits the Cubs to 18 night games per year and b) prohibits night games on Fridays.

But I guess when major league baseball decrees that the cubs will have a friday night playoff game...

I think it's probably good for the Cubs and for the city, but will be awful for people like me who live there. And there are lots of us, which is why Wrigley is in such a unique situation. Remember, there are NO large parking lots that service Wrigley. Lots for 10-20 cars that belong to businesses are usually full of bar-hoppers on friday nights. Now add 35,000 baseball fans...

And a garbage hauler strike. This should be fun.
John M. Coetzee of the University of Chicago receives 2003 Nobel Memorial Prize in Literature
John M. Coetzee of the University of Chicago receives 2003 Nobel Memorial Prize in Literature

This is the U of C press release. - S. African wins literature Nobel - S. African wins literature Nobel - Oct. 2, 2003

In addition to all his other accomplishments, Coetzee is a sometime University of Chicago professor. This is not mentioned in the CNN article, but hey. One more Nobel for us!! And, as Jon said, not in Econ, which helps dispel the notion that we lean toward the Social Sciences here at the good ole' U of C.

I can't believe I stayed up until 2am to watch my Red Sox lose in the 12 inning.

I really have no idea how I'm supposed to work this afternoon with the game going on. sigh.

I can't believe I stayed up until 2am to watch my Red Sox lose in the 12 inning.

I really have no idea how I'm supposed to work this afternoon with the game going on.

Wednesday, October 01, 2003
Building donated by University of Chicago will be transformed into cutting-edge home of Hyde Park Art Center

Careful readers of the above UC press release will note that the "unused" building in question is in fact the University Theater shop. And we've known about this for a while, but assumed they weren't making official press announcements until they'd found us a new home. Evidently I was wrong.

In addition, "Proof" will be filming on campus again next week, further depriving me of parking and access to buildings on campus. I'm mixed between being thrilled that the movie is being shot on campus instead of in Toronto (as originally planned) and seriously annoyed with how much it screws up my commute.

and I have 7 words that have been freaking me out all day:
Garbage hauler's strike. Friday Cubs playoff game.

And did you all read about the AEA protest of the non-eq "Miss Saigon"?
This courtesy of Theatrmail
"Much to the thesps' joy, the IATSE stagehands of Boston's Local 11 honored the picket line.
But then something unexpected happened.
The scrappy "Miss Saigon" actors started to unload the trucks sans stagehands! Equity quickly called off its protest "out of concern for those actors' safety," said a spokesman. Union stagehands then were called in to finish the job. Perfs went on as originally scheduled."

I'm impressed, even if I support AEA on principle. How many actors do you know that would unload trucks full of Miss Saigon scenery?

garbage strike

Chicago Tribune | Haulers declare garbage strike

Which means Chicago is going to be dirty and smelly. Hee!
Happy Payday
Yay Cubbies!

My ops class on Monday was pretty good after all. The prof seems good, the class is talkative enough without being obnoxious. But when we had to form groups at the end of the class I did feel a little like the last kid picked on the playground.It's my own fault for being way too shy to actually succeed in the business world, but hey.

In case we ever doubted that Rush Limbaugh was an asshole...this article seems to indicate he's also racist.

Sometimes I hate Texas. not always. but when school bands play nazi anthems and wave nazi flags on Rosh Hashana my hate gets rekindeled.

Okay, my mom put me in charge of the following things for this party next week: invitations, RSVPs, music, and napkins. Simple, right? Mostly very simple, and lots of fun. But then there are the people who haven't RSVPd, the pianist who won't answer my emails (he confessed to being scared that we'll know way more showtunes than he--which is probably true of at least me and the bride and groom), and the fact that I'm being picky about cocktail napkins. All vaguely ridiculous. The pianist is a student at NEC who has played at parties for friends of my mom before and is reputably very talented, so he shouldn't worry. It's not like we're asking him to play on Broadway. and then there are my high school friends who haven't decided, evidently, if they're staying at my mom's house all weekend or at a hotel or some combination of both. Which isn't a huge deal, but my mom wants, reasonably, to know how many people she should expect to find crashed in her house when she gets back from her second wedding of the weekend on Sunday.

Also, it's really cold in my apartment. I resisted turning the heat on in September on general principle, but now that it's October I should suck up and deal. just when I was used to getting $5 gas bills.

Off to work. I have a new-school-year resolution not to let it get me as riled as last year. So far not so successful. Though Kesa did remind me last night that she "built that bandwagon" and she's gotten most of it out of her system so maybe I will too. Of course, she's a couple hundred miles removed from the daily reality.

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