Why such pain?
I woke up this morning thinking maybe it was all a dream. Maybe we didn't blow the 4 run lead. Maybe Grady Little took Pedro out of the game before he gave up that rally-inspiring double. Maybe we hammered Mariano Rivera. Maybe, just maybe, I had dreamed that first pitch in the bottom of the 12th homerun by Aaron Boone. Maybe.

Nope.

I started to cry in the shower. I'm way too emotionally invested in this team. Always have been. It takes effort to be a Red Sox fan. It takes love, devotion, dedication, care, and a healthy hatred of the Yankees.

They came so close so many times. This really *could* have been the year.

but in the end, they didn't cowboy up into the world series.

When I got to work this AM I had to change the wallpaper on my computer...it was their team photo. I'll get a new red sox t-shirt in the mail soon. Probably while the yankees are doing what they always do.

It was a great series. and a great game. and it ended as it always always has. At least for the last 85 years.

That's it. I quit. No more baseball at least until April. And they may have finally broken my heart beyond repair. (don't quote me on that come April). The site of Wakefield collapsing to the ground after he threw that pitch did it. so so so sad.

My brother and I both agreed that this was harder than it has been since '86. And since I was only 7 and he was only 11 in '86, our level of investment and heartache was slightly different. This, he said, is possibly the worst thing that could happen. And it is. I will, of course, agree with my friend Dan that obviously it isn't the "worst". Genocide is much much worse. Having your house burn down is worse. Clearly lots of things are worse. But no man has ever hurt me this badly. Not even close.

My brother asked Congressman Barney Frank once if he were a Sox fan. he responded with something to the effect of "I don't like to be involved with more than one rich man at a time".
words of wisdom.

I'm working up the emotional energy to read the paper. I need to stick with the friendly Boston Globe so as to avoid any yankee celebration. but somehow it won't be real until I've read the articles.

My boyfriend commented that he hadn't realized until now how many people root against the yankees. It's true. and it's because they are team usually made up of 25 assholes with no respect for other people. and they buy all the talent they can and they usually win. and they're arrogant and obnoxious. Need I go on? Yes, there are Yankees fans all over the place, but it's damn easy to be a fan of a team that always wins.

I'm a fan of the team that always comes in 2nd.

You gotta have heart. All you really need is heart.

But this year they had it! and talent, and drive, and they were having fun on the field (most of the time).

Now this is just depressing.
- posted by Heidi @ 8:45 AM