Make your own George W. Bush stump speech!
Mr. Sun!: Make your own George W. Bush stump speech!

Wonkette directed me to this, and it's AMAZING.

But not as amazingly moving as E.L. Doctorow's essay "The Unfeeling President" that has been making the email rounds (official announcement: I've received it 4 times. I printed it out at work. Now I've blogged it. Don't need it forwarded again).

A computer at the theatre down the street has a virus. And so it's sending spam, which purports to be from my email address, to people in its address book--including various listhosts that I administrate. It's kind of embarassing to be the anti-spammer, the rejector of inappropriate posts, and then have "re:hi Download this!" sent from "my" email address.

Last night I left work at 5:30. I have a 30 minute drive home when there isn't a Cubs game, about 60 minutes when there is. Parking before 7pm is generally within a block of my house, between 7 and 11pm parking takes about 10-15 minutes, sometimes longer (especially on weekends). Last night the combination of the Cubs last regular season night game and a 4 car accident conspired to lengthen my commute. Parking was awful as well. I gave up and parked right in front of a fire hydrant at 8:30 (3 hours after I left work. I could have gone to St. Louis).

This morning I didn't have a parking ticket. Cars around me had tickets, but they didn't have the "I chose to live in this neighborhood despite the regular influx of 35,000 people who want to see men hit small balls with big sticks" placard. So despite the warning on the placard that "THIS DOES NOT GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO PARK ILLEGALLY DURING CUBS NIGHT GAMES" clearly it actually does...hmm...good to know...or maybe I was at a fake fire hydrant.

I'm not sure the fire hydrant is actually fake, but is there any other neighborhood in the city (or the world?) that has no fewer than 2 hydrants per block, on both sides of the street? You Chicagoans know I'm not exaggerating.
- posted by Heidi @ 10:01 AM

 
I know it has been a while (yeah yeah, you can stop harassing me he hasn't updated either!) but tonight is just a quick post.

I'm on break from my negotiation class. 2 points. First, I just made a great deal in our first negotiation simulation. My confidential instructions said I could take anything over $10/unit. Most classmates reached deals at around $15-20/unit. I got $34/unit. One could reasonably assume that my partner simply gave in too early. Or that I kick ass. I leave the choice up to you, although in fairness I should add that we finished in 15 minutes despite having been allotted 30.

Second observation: at the beginning of class everyone introduced themselves, said what they did for a living, and explained why they took the class. There are 32 people in the class, 7 of whom are women. 2 of the women said they were taking the class so they could negotiate better deals on their upcoming wedding expenses. 1 said she was hoping to get a better salary next year. The other 4 of us (including me) said that we were too forgiving, or kind, or loath to be hard-ass, or some equivalent, to be successful negotiators.

Now, I'm post-feminist in a feminist way (gotta love meaningless terminology!) I'm as sick of the 2nd-wave v. 3rd wave distinction as anyone else, but sometimes I just wonder... A top business school in the country, which is only 20% female, and all the women are still worried about being the weak ones. I thought b-school was full of ball-busting butch women like the CEO of HP, but no. We're just like the rest of you. I'm not entirely sure what any of this means, nor can I decide if it's a "bad" or "good" thing, I was just struck by the contract.

Remember: insight, not analysis. That's what I give. Or something.

I should go back to class now. Future updates (due soon!) will discuss such fascinating topics as the arrival of the class of 2008, my last year in school, and my as usual kooky-crazy adventures with life, the universe, and everything.

Oh, and it looks like the Red Sox are making the post-season, and you know what that means! The Cubs might too, so look forward to some loving and some heartbreaking and some traffic nightmares.

- posted by Heidi @ 7:25 PM

 
Welcome to the future! Please vote.
iMac G5

I received a census from the Republicans a while ago. I just rediscovered it.

Here's what it says (never fear, I am a legit democrat. voter card and everything. Never voted for a Republican in my life, and I don't know how they got my name).

Dear Illinois Republican,
Please return the completed census....

Questionnaire:
Domestic and international Security:
1) Do you support President Bush's initiatives to promote the safety and security of all Americans?
2) Do you support the use of air strikes against any country that offers safe harbor or aid to individuals or organizations committed to further attacks on America?
3) Do you continue to support increasing the amount of security at airports, train stations, and all government buildings including monuments and museums?

Economic Issues
1) Should the "Death Tax" be permanently repealed?
2) Do you support President Bush's pro-growth policies to create more jobs and improve the economy?
3) Should small businesses be encouraged to grow and hire more workers?

Education issues
1) Do you support President Bush's plan to make our schools more accountable to parents and to restore local control of education?
2) Should students, teachers, principals, and administrators be held to higher standards?
3) Do you agree that teaching our children to read and increasing literacy rates should be a national priority?

Social Issues
1) Do you support President Bush's initiative to allow private religious and charitable groups to do more to help those in need?
2) Do you support the law, passed by the Republican Congress and signed by President Bush, that bans partial-birth abortion?
3) Do you support the President's efforts to save Social Security and add a prescription drug benefit to Medicare?

Defense Issues
1) Do you think U.S. troops should have to serve under United Nations' commanders?
2) Do you support the President's plan to increase military spending to meet our defense needs?
3) Should we build president Reagan's SDI defense shield against nuclear missile attack?

Republican Party
1) Do you support the election of Republican candidates cross the country and rebuilding our majorities over the next 10 years?
2) Did you vote in 2000? 2002? Do you plan to vote in 2004?

Options for all questions are "yes" "no" "undecided", but really they mean "yes" or "anti-American commie!"

I didn't fill it out because I was scared that if I answered honestly I'd end up on a list of people to get double-screened at airports. Frankly, that's not the type of thing one should think in a supposedly "free" country.
- posted by Heidi @ 4:11 PM