I know I said I wasn't going to post, but I lied.

I have a new business plan. Despite the huge numbers of specialty retail stores, the world needs one more. A not-tackily named funeral store. Somewhere you can go and buy...
-black dresses that don't look like business suits, club-night-out or your grandmother's widows weeds
-black hats
-low-heeled black pumps
-pearls
-sunglasses
-black pantyhose
-black button-down sweaters
-men's clothes too, though that is less problematic.

And where you can arrange for bereavement rate plane tickets. Or at least they could tell you how.

This would prevent you from having to walk up to a friendly department store salesperson and ask for help--and then have to explain that you don't want a little black dress, you want a non-little black dress. You could walk in and not have to explain anything but be treated cautiously and helpfully. Course you'd have to figure out how to incentivize employees since repeat customer business wouldn't be a goal.

But seriously.

It's not that I had a negative shopping experience today, and I already had most of what I need, it's just that I was lucky to have a salesperson who was sympathetic without being pushy and asked me if I had a hat, low pumps, pearls, sunglasses, etc. And of course if I'd needed any of those things I would have had to go to 4 different floors and see new salespeople--after all, most people buying funeral wear are in no mood to wander around without salesperson assistance.

The most important thing (aside from a fashion world alignment toward this niche market) would be calming, capable salespeople. The type who meet you at the door and just bring you things. The type of people who just fix things so you don't have to think. And they don't bring you too many options because this is no time to choose.

At most department stores, the only dresses that anyone under 30 would be caught wearing are either prohibitively expensive or way too sexy for a funeral. I settled on one that makes me look depressingly like my mother. But unlike every other black dress I own it doesn't make me look like I'm swimming in my own clothing or prepared to dance the night away.

The problem is the name. Can't imagine a good name.

I'd never realized how much I look like my mother. Knew there was a passing resemblence, but in a conservative (and pretty much shapeless) black dress I look like her young clone. Slightly shocking.
- posted by Heidi @ 4:30 PM

 
The front page of today's NYTimes has two stories designed to send me to emotional extremes.

one i've been waiting for since 1918, the other dreading since 1906.

metaphorically, of course.

thank you to everyone who called or emailed...for either.

probably won't post for a while.
- posted by Heidi @ 9:52 AM

 
I don't need to blog about it becausebill simmons wrote about it.

and yes, I'm talking baseball.

there's nothing else to talk. not right now. I still believe.
- posted by Heidi @ 1:30 PM

 
Why I love America, part 1:The Beatles team with Cirque du Soleil in Vegas

part 2: Wonkette, as always (especially since she's an alum of my school)

Part 3: pieces on NPR about the tragedy of having the debate air opposite a Yankees-Red Sox playoff game

why I don't love America, part 1:

Fox sports coverage of above mentioned Yankees-Red Sox series.

People who think Bush won any of the debates
- posted by Heidi @ 5:13 PM

 
hee: YANKEEZ ROOL!!! Boston is teh suck -- The Hardball Times

Chicago is mid insta-fall. Friday the trees were green. today half the leaves are on the ground.

I miss New England. And not just for the baseball.
- posted by Heidi @ 9:37 AM

 
Feeling unneighborly
I made my first attempt to do laundry at 10:30am. Washers were full.
Went back at 11. nothing doing. at about 11:30 I was able to put my laundry in. As the dryers were already humming I figured this might work out. Around 12:15 I went down again. dryers done, clothes still in them.
Ditto 12:45, 1:00, 1:30, 2:00
at 2:15 I went down with a note. A not-quite-as-nasty-as-I-felt note asking my neighbor to, in the future, have more respect for his neghbors. When I got there the dryers were buzzing...because the same guy had restarted his wash. Evidently one drying cycle plus 2 hours of sitting in the dryer hadn't done it.
2:45 dryer done, clothes still there.
Ditto 3:35.

I have to leave at 5. Which means my stuff needs to be in the dryer by 4.

there's no where for me to put his clean clothese without being #1 bitch. There's a table...covered in dust and lint. The top of the washers and dryers are equally gross.

not to mention that I don't really want to touch someone else's clothing.

I might cry or scream or yell. I've treid slamming the laundry room door. I've had loud "I HATE MY NEIGHBORS" conversations in my kitchen with windows and door open.

The note I left at 2:15 has still not been read. It's 3:45. 3:45. That means I've been trying to do laundry for 5 hours and all I have to show for it is 2 loads of crumpled sopping clean but wet clothing. Sure, some of it is now draped all over my apartment to "air dry"--which really means to hang and wrinkle while the cat attempts to sniff it.

For the love of the sweet baby jeesus I am one short temper away from wanting to throw his clean laundry in the dumpster. I don't know who he is (and assume "he" from the boxer shorts, but it could be "they"-most apartments are couples). However, there are only 12 apartments in the building. Unless "he" is Nestor, my 100 year old downstairs neighbor there's no excuse.

I'm going to scream now.
- posted by Heidi @ 3:42 PM

 
Boston Rules
We swept!

Thank God. It looked dicey for a while--what with Vlad's grand slam and all. I think at that point I stopped talking and started clenching my beer (I was at jimmy's). By the time "big papi" hit his walk off homerun I'd aged about 10 years. Luckily I didn't pull out too much of my hair. Jimmy's, a bar on the south side of chicago, EXPLODED. It wasn't just the me and the other confirmed Red Sox fan (and fellow New Englander) I knew. No, EVERYONE. Even the Yankees fan I was sitting with (don't ask how I ended up watching a critical game with a Yankees fan) was excited--he didn't cheer, but he wants a sox-yanks ALCS.

I'm not sure I do. In fact, I'm sure I don't. I'm sure I want a Sox-Twins series. I don't think this is wimping out, and it's not becuase Pedro said the Yankees are his daddies (I'm sure he won't pitch like that!). There are several reasons for this.

First, there's something really sweet about the Yankees not even getting to the ALCS. Especially if we go all the way. I know people think we need a head to head series for true revenge, but I think it's just as satisfying to know that they couldn't even beat the Twins, with their relatively miniscule payroll and consequently lighter bench, in a critical series.

Second, and more practically, we have a really good shot of beating the Twins (no offense all you Minnesotans, you know I'm right. Sanatana will be exhausted and we'll have had 4 days off, and our lineup is hella deeper).

We can beat the Yanks too--witness winning the season series--but not without a media circus, tons of drama, and (most likely) some bullpen brawls. Much as seeing 'tek up in A-Rod's face filled me with satisfaction, that sort of thing is not why I watch baseball. And it's a big part of why I hate football.

Which is my third and most important reason. The tension between Yankees and Red Sox fans can be unbearable. The TV drama gets built up. ESPN and Fox live for it. The ALCS, if it is Sox-Yanks, will be less about baseball and more about revenge and curses and empires and destinies and history.

And I just want some good baseball.

Like last night. That was amazing.

BTW in all likelihood all posts between now and 10/31 will have to do with baseball. This is particularly true if the Red Sox advance. I may throw in a few comments like "what do you mean a "tie"? Kerry smoked him! You just had lower expectations!" But for the most part, it's baseball.
- posted by Heidi @ 8:40 AM

 
Salon.com News | Bush's mystery bulge
Bush might have had Karl Rovefeeding him information during the first debate. Now apparently this wasn't against the rules, but lets get the word out.

If Bush can't beat Kerry even with Karl Rove in his ear...
- posted by Heidi @ 11:35 AM

 
I swear to god, baseball playoffs might drive me to a heart attack one of these days.

Between the hated yankees extra innings win and the red sox back-and-forth up-and-down misplays and homers, I might just collapse from the stress.

Blame my brother. I'm more stressed about this--A GAME--then I am about anything else right now. And that includes the election of the free world, a subject upon which I have LOTS of opinions. It's my brother's fault: he's the reason I'm a baseball fan.

Okay, I can step back and admit that if I had to choose between a red sox world series win and a john kerry victory, I'd choose jon kerry.

but probably only if I knew we'd resign varitek.

no, that's not fair. no matter what I'd choose kerry. but somehow I feel like I have no control over the election and, apparently, have some over the Red Sox. Now, of course I have LESS control over the red sox than I do over the election (I will vote, after all. And I could help out margo by making phone calls, etc.etc.), but still in the moment...

I'm a terrible person. And now if bush gets re-elected I'll spend the next 4 years regretting this post. Which I only sort of mean. But I sort of do mean it.

I think if I were less wound up about this I could write an interesting post about the psychology of passions and beliefs. but not right now. Right now I'm praying for some more big hits from the red sox.

Mueller just got a base hit. Must go watch game.
- posted by Heidi @ 11:22 PM

 
My favorits VEEP debate article
I still don't know who won, since the media won't tell me (read wonkette if you didn't think that was funny), but this is my favorite veep debater article so far: The New York Times > Washington > Campaign 2004 > The Scene: Rivals Dig In, Draw Blood, Cede Nothing
- posted by Heidi @ 10:38 AM

 
For all you Twins fans...
Batgirl is my new favorite blog that isn't Wonkette or about the red sox. It's baseball, so it's close. It's currently focused on yankee hating, so it's close.

Between the playoffs and the election, I'm on media overload. When I turned the TV off after last night's debate, I thought my apartment was eerily spooky quiet.

In a meeting monday night it was determined we needed to have a retreat. I.e. spend Saturday night together. wooha. I volunteered my apartment--close to bars and night time fun for a saturday night. Rides were being arranged, and then my boss said "lets just do it at my house". Apparently my facial expression was priceless. I mean, whatever. Now I don't have to clean. And her house is, obviously, bigger than my apartment. And she has 2 kittens whereas I have one middle-aged cat with heart problems. I am mostly irritated because now I have to go to Pilsen for the third time in 2 weeks. And it's neither convenient nor socially stimulating. Lots of art, lots of artists, lots of dark streets.

It's 10am and I've already had 1 visitor and 3 phone calls. It's a different world from the summer's isolation.
- posted by Heidi @ 10:16 AM

 
ESPN.com predicts Sox will win it all.

Thanks to scott for the link. he also apologizes because as a cubs fan he understands that this means clearly the red sox have now been cursed by ESPN and can't win. and in basebally mythology, he's right.

Sigh.
- posted by Heidi @ 11:11 AM