I know I said I wasn't going to post, but I lied.

I have a new business plan. Despite the huge numbers of specialty retail stores, the world needs one more. A not-tackily named funeral store. Somewhere you can go and buy...
-black dresses that don't look like business suits, club-night-out or your grandmother's widows weeds
-black hats
-low-heeled black pumps
-pearls
-sunglasses
-black pantyhose
-black button-down sweaters
-men's clothes too, though that is less problematic.

And where you can arrange for bereavement rate plane tickets. Or at least they could tell you how.

This would prevent you from having to walk up to a friendly department store salesperson and ask for help--and then have to explain that you don't want a little black dress, you want a non-little black dress. You could walk in and not have to explain anything but be treated cautiously and helpfully. Course you'd have to figure out how to incentivize employees since repeat customer business wouldn't be a goal.

But seriously.

It's not that I had a negative shopping experience today, and I already had most of what I need, it's just that I was lucky to have a salesperson who was sympathetic without being pushy and asked me if I had a hat, low pumps, pearls, sunglasses, etc. And of course if I'd needed any of those things I would have had to go to 4 different floors and see new salespeople--after all, most people buying funeral wear are in no mood to wander around without salesperson assistance.

The most important thing (aside from a fashion world alignment toward this niche market) would be calming, capable salespeople. The type who meet you at the door and just bring you things. The type of people who just fix things so you don't have to think. And they don't bring you too many options because this is no time to choose.

At most department stores, the only dresses that anyone under 30 would be caught wearing are either prohibitively expensive or way too sexy for a funeral. I settled on one that makes me look depressingly like my mother. But unlike every other black dress I own it doesn't make me look like I'm swimming in my own clothing or prepared to dance the night away.

The problem is the name. Can't imagine a good name.

I'd never realized how much I look like my mother. Knew there was a passing resemblence, but in a conservative (and pretty much shapeless) black dress I look like her young clone. Slightly shocking.
- posted by Heidi @ 4:30 PM